


The first day of my life

by Isabeauu



Series: Happy family [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF
Genre: Adoption, Established Relationship, Family, Foster Care, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-06
Updated: 2013-05-06
Packaged: 2017-12-10 14:42:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isabeauu/pseuds/Isabeauu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Since the day my mother died, I've been in three foster homes in a little over eighteen months before coming to my current family. I was twelve going on thirteen when Adam and Sauli took me in, and they were the first ones to really do everything they could to make me feel comfortable. I was told they’d been looking to give an older child a loving home for quite some time and they couldn’t wait to meet me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The first day of my life

Are your parents still alive? If they are, you are lucky, because mine are not. That's how I ended up in foster care. One family after the other that could not cope with my grieving self. And that was before my parents actually died.

Lost? Let me explain. I grew up with a father who spent his life in bars. But that was okay, because whenever he was home, he loved me like any other father in the world. We played in the garden and when one of my dolls was broken, he fixed them. I've never seen him drunk, only heard him stumble up the stairs late at night. Until one night he didn't come back. I never saw him again ever since, and for a long time I hadn't known what had happened. Up until today, I still don't really do, but somehow his car ended up in the canal. I was almost eight at the time. Since he never really was around before, not too much changed for me, but my mother took it so badly she eventually got depressed and couldn't take care of me anymore. I was taken away on my ninth birthday, to an older lady who had taken in many foster children already. She was sweet, and I thought I’d spend the rest of my childhood with her. I was only nine, I had no idea how child services worked. So after only six short months I was brought to a young family with a daughter, Clarice, of my age and Andrew, the five-year-old that was suddenly my little brother. It didn’t work from in the beginning. Of course they couldn’t deal with me, who was in her room all day and didn’t do anything to be a part of the family. I didn’t _want_ to be a part of the family, I wanted my mother back. But everybody kept telling me I couldn’t, even my social worker, Ben. I remember one conversation like it was only just yesterday. I was ten and in yet another foster home, waiting until I could go back to my mother whom I hadn’t seen in a few weeks.

_“Everybody wants me to be happy. I will be happy when I live with my mom again, so why can’t I?”_

_Ben had no answer ready, but he answered anyway. “Your mom has to be happy first. When she is, you can go back.”_

_“My mom is happy. She always smiles when I visit her.”_

_“She does, but she misses your dad so much right now that she can’t be happy all the time. She needs to be happier to really take care of you.”_

_“I miss dad, too, sometimes.”_

_“And that’s normal. Your mom will be fine very soon and you can live with her again. You just have to wait a bit longer until the doctors say she’s ready to go home, okay?”_

I believed him, because he too was convinced he was telling me the truth. He couldn’t have known that my mother would take her own life barely two months after that. Again, on my birthday, two years after hell started. She left me a letter, in which she told me that she couldn’t take it anymore. She’d missed all my birthdays and she felt like a terrible mom. I would have told her that it was okay, that I knew she was sick because the doctors and Ben had explained it all to me, but it was too late. She left before I could make her listen. It makes me sad, and sometimes angry, but I can never be angry at her. She tried for two years, she deserved to be in peace. I hope she is, because if she’s not, missing her this much would not be worth it.

If people ask me how my parents died, I tell them they got into a car accident, just because it’s easier. Only my new families were told the truth. Families I never stayed with very long because I refused to let some woman try to be my new mom. They all tried very hard, but I never let them.

Since the day my mother died, I've been in three foster homes in a little over eighteen months before coming to my current family. I was twelve going on thirteen when Adam and Sauli took me in, and they were the first ones to really do everything they could to make me feel comfortable. I was told they’d been looking to give an older child a loving home for quite some time and they couldn’t wait to meet me. They also told me I might have seen one of them on the television already, which I thought was funny because many people come on the television and I didn’t understand why it was so important. Then Ben asked me if I was okay with them being two men, which I thought was funny too, because why would I not be okay with it? Not only did the idea of not having a woman who tries to replace my mother sound very appealing to me, I figured that since I _had_ to find another family, the most important thing was for them to love me and care for me. It didn’t matter who or where it was. And for the first time in almost four years, I wanted this to work out.

And it did.

Because today I’m turning fourteen and I’m still here. It’s only been a year and three months, which may seem like a long time, but it’s not when you know it took me almost a year to realize these people wanted me to stay and there was nothing I wanted more either.

So today it’s happening, finally. I’m officially getting adopted today.

 

* * *

 

A knock on the door makes me look up from the paper I’ve been writing on for an hour now. Adam steps into the room with Sauli right behind him.

“Are you ready?” I look back at the papers in front of me and finish it off. They don’t interrupt, just wait patiently, because they know this is important to me. When I’m done five minutes later I fold it carefully and nod, sliding it in my pocket.

“Yep, I’m ready.” I’m already in the clothes we bought for today. Nothing too fancy, but since press found out they will most definitely be at the court house to await our arrival. Adam’s paranoid about people thinking he’s not one for being a father and telling him he can’t adopt me, so he wants to prove them wrong by spoiling me. Sauli and I joke about how I’ll grow up to be a brat, but we all know it’s not going to happen. I know how valuable family is, and if I had the choice between Adam and Sauli or money, I wouldn’t even have to think which one to choose. Not one second. I’d pick family over everything.

As predicted, press is there, but we just walk in without any comment. It doesn’t take very long before I’m hugged from all sides after we stepped out of the court room with papers which say that Adam and Sauli are now officially my parents. Ben is the last one to hug me, and I thank him quietly for not giving up on me.

We all go for dinner in my favorite restaurant and when we’re done eating I ask if I can read something I wrote. Since most had never heard the story from my point of view, or any view whatsoever, it was bound to make people cry. Me too, but I keep on reading through the tears.

“So today it’s happening, finally. I’m officially getting adopted today. And for the first time since I turned nine it feels like I actually have something to celebrate. Things get crazy and I never thought my life would include fangirls or a Finnish course. But I’m glad it turned out this way, because I couldn’t have wished for a better family.

I turn to Adam and Sauli specifically now, improvising when I say: “Sauli, you always know how to cheer me up. And Adam, you know your music is what gets me through some days. My friends sometimes ask me how it is to consider people to be my parents when they weren’t even in my life two years ago. I just tell them that you both know what candy to bring me from the store, what kind of shampoo is best for my hair, or what my favorite dish is. Or that on days that are extra tough, you both know I like to be in my room and listen to music that reflects how I feel. It doesn’t matter that neither one of you is connected to me genetically. You both know me like my biological parents used to, so there’s no real difference, right? And just so this entire speech would end with laughter instead of tearful smiles, I’m going to end this on the most cheesy way possible. I just want to say: thanks for loving me, ‘cause you’re doing it perfectly. Thank you.”

They do laugh, and while I’m wrapped in their hugs, I can’t help but think that today is definitely a good day to start the rest of my life.

 

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine.


End file.
